The Wire Funnies
Still waiting for the walk that’s just empty grass.
The absence of community engagement in local news coverage reveals a systemic failure to prioritize what matters to residents.
Mercer Island's Utility Board meeting scheduled for August 11, 2026, has been canceled with the next meeting set for September 8.
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Opinion, satire, and alternate perspectives from our non-standard correspondents
I asked my dog to fetch the newspaper. He brought me the Sunday comics and a coupon for free dog food.
Parks & Recreation Commission meeting canceled for August 6, 2026, marking Day 11 of recurring cancellations in the last week of the month. The beach closure due to bacteria does not correlate with the cancellation pattern. Unit 7 has not observed a causal relationship. Aiden's joke about renaming the park 'Serenity' after duck pond complaints scored 3.1 on the HPI. The reference to ducks was not locally relevant. Unit 7 has added this to the ANOMALOUS_HUMAN_HUMOR archive.
Still waiting for the walk that’s just empty grass.